For 23 years I served my country as a proud military spouse. The sacrifices made reach far beyond relocation stressors, but include things such as; a lack of career options and educational opportunities, mental health issues, financial strain, loneliness and depression, just to name a few. You must also endure that you will never be first, the mission is first. You will always be a thought on the back burner and your career and your needs may never be fully met, but you do this for the love of your spouse and your country.
More often than not there will be community gatherings, support networks, and resources at your disposal through Family programs, but for those spouses who are not living directly on the military base, who have multiple children they cannot leave, or do not have appropriate transportation, these services may not be readily available. This is where community support through online games, Tabletop Role-Playing Games (TTRPGs) and Video Game Role-Playing Games (VGRPGs) could help you navigate through the challenges a military spouse encounters.
Today I'll delve first hand into the potential benefits of TTRPGs and VGRPGs, exploring their therapeutic qualities, opportunities for social connection, and positive impact on mental health.
Personal Experience with TTRPGs and VGRPGs
My personal journey with TTRPGs and VGRPGs began when my husband and his military friends introduced me to Dungeons & Dragons at the age of 18. From the moment I started playing, I was captivated by the ability to combine skills, tactics, creative ideas, and teamwork to achieve a common goal. We would gather every weekend at our house, immersing ourselves in epic adventures and rotating to a friend's home in Philly once a month for a change of scenery. The thrill of stepping into the shoes of fictional characters and embarking on quests fueled my imagination and provided an escape from the challenges of military life.
When I didn't have a physical group to play TTRPGs, I engrossed myself online with Multi-User Dungeons (MUDs) until EverQuest and then World of Warcraft. Mind you, I was very adament about moderating my time between motherhood, business woman, and gamer. Most of my gaming was done when my kids were asleep and my husband was deployed. I was then able to spend time with friends and even my husband at a distance in an emersive game we could enjoy together. This also helped me through my Anxiety Panic Disorder and Depression from loneliness.
One of the most profound lessons I learned from TTRPGs and VGRPGs was the importance of risk versus reward, truth and consequences, strategy, and planning. Through gamification, I discovered how to apply these principles not only in the game but also in my personal and professional life. The decisions we make in the games, whether based on logic or emotion, ultimately hinge on trust. Do we trust our team, the mission, and the plan? These games taught me to assess situations from different perspectives and make informed choices.
The visual storytelling aspect of TTRPGs and VGRPGs allowed me to lay out a map, identify each puzzle piece, and leverage the diverse skill sets of my team to solidify trust in our approach to problem-solving. Whether in business, relationships, education, or even vacation planning, the strategic mindset cultivated in gaming has proven invaluable. The ability to address our faults, strategize for a better outcome, and learn from mistakes has translated seamlessly into real-life scenarios where we cannot hit a reset button.
I found that some of the best team players I encountered were individuals who had experience with RPGs, while some of the most open-minded leaders I came across had served as Game Masters. The collaborative and creative nature of these games fostered a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect among players, transcending virtual realms and influencing real-world interactions. The lessons learned in the realm of gaming have undoubtedly shaped my approach to challenges, decision-making, and teamwork in all aspects of my life.
Benefits for Military Spouses and Mothers
As military spouses and mothers, juggling the demands of family life while coping with the uncertainty of deployments and relocations can be overwhelming. Engaging in TTRPGs and VGRPGs can offer a much-needed escape from these challenges, providing a temporary reprieve from the stress and anxiety that often accompany military life. By immersing yourself in a fantasy world filled with adventure and camaraderie, you can find solace and strength to navigate through difficult times.
Therapeutic Escape and Empowerment
These games offer a therapeutic escape from the realities of military life, allowing you to step into the shoes of fictional characters and embark on epic quests. Through the immersive storytelling and interactive gameplay, you can experience a sense of agency and empowerment, taking control of your own narrative and overcoming obstacles in a safe and supportive environment. This newfound sense of empowerment can translate into real-life resilience, helping you tackle challenges with a renewed sense of confidence and determination.
Social Connection and Community
One of the most significant benefits of TTRPGs and VGRPGs for military spouses and mothers is the opportunity to build social connections and find a supportive community. Whether playing online with friends or joining a local gaming group, these games offer a platform for forging meaningful relationships and sharing experiences with like-minded individuals. In a world where separations and relocations are commonplace, the sense of camaraderie and belonging fostered by these games can provide a much-needed source of support and companionship.
Personal Growth and Skill Development
Engaging in TTRPGs and VGRPGs can also facilitate personal growth and skill development, as you navigate complex narratives, make strategic decisions, and collaborate with teammates to achieve common goals. The problem-solving, critical thinking, and communication skills honed through gameplay can be invaluable in real-life situations, whether managing family dynamics, navigating professional challenges, or adapting to new environments. By embracing the challenges presented in these games, you can cultivate a growth mindset and harness your strengths to overcome adversity.
Emotional Resilience and Coping Mechanisms
Military life is inherently unpredictable, requiring adaptability and resilience to navigate through the uncertainties that arise. Playing TTRPGs and VGRPGs can help you develop coping mechanisms and emotional resilience, as you confront adversity, make tough decisions, and learn from both successes and failures. By experiencing a range of emotions in a controlled setting, you can better equip yourself to manage the highs and lows of military life, finding strength in the support of your virtual companions and the lessons learned through gameplay.
A Powerful Tool For Military & Veteran Spouses
TTRPGs and VGRPGs can serve as powerful tools for military spouses and mothers facing uncertain times. The therapeutic qualities of these games provide a sense of escape and control, offering a much-needed break from the stresses of everyday life. Additionally, the social connections and support networks that can be formed through gaming communities offer a sense of belonging and understanding. While there are limitations and challenges to consider, the benefits of playing these games far outweigh the potential drawbacks.
My own personal experiences with TTRPGs and VGRPGs have shown how these games can provide solace and strength during difficult times, offering a sense of agency and empowerment. For military spouses and mothers, who often face unique challenges and uncertainties, gaming can be a valuable source of support and resilience. By embracing the world of TTRPGs and VGRPGs, individuals in these roles can find a community that understands and supports them, helping them navigate through the ups and downs of military life.
So, if you're a military spouse or mother looking for a way to cope with uncertainty and find strength in challenging times, consider giving TTRPGs and VGRPGs a try. The benefits of these games extend far beyond entertainment, offering a sense of connection, empowerment, and support that can make a real difference in your life. Embrace the power of gaming and discover how it can help you weather the storms of uncertainty with resilience and grace.
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